Life in the Time of Quarantine

Hello! We're another week into our quarantine, bringing it up to three weeks now. How are you holding up?

I have been through all the stages of grief and reached an acceptance that this is the new normal for now. I hesitate to write it because I know so many people and families are suffering right now, but this has been a sweet time for our family so far.

I am savoring having everyone home. I am extra aware and grateful for our health. We have settled in, the kids are thriving and all playing so nicely. I'm enjoying my kids more. We're reading extra bedtime stories, with everyone piled on our bed. We're having family dinners every night at the dining room table, which I had all but given up on pre-quarantine due to Nick's work schedule and the kids' early bedtimes. We're spending all the time we can outside. And an extra bright spot has been family lunchtime, which is often an afterthought in our house but it's been a full-fledged event and I am actually delighting in making different lunches for different people and everyone just eats and eats and eats.

It's SO NICE to not have to rush anywhere. Carseats and timetables were one of my biggest enemies, and the abolishment of both has been wonderful. I haven’t even needed to break out any of the big guns from my rainy day box in case summer has begun now. So far the kids have been happy rediscovering an old LEGO set, playing outside, reading, doing simple art and crafts.

For many people I think being homebound is new and novel, but it's pretty much our way of life. I'm actually a little less homebound in some ways now that Nick's working from home, because when Alice and/or George nap I can get out for a walk by myself or with the big girls, whereas I'm typically bound to the house by nap schedules.

I read something the other day about how introverts have a natural advantage during this time because a day without interaction for extroverts is similar to starvation. I remember in high school when I found out I had mono, my mom took me to Starbucks after the doctor's appointment and I giddily told the barista how I had gotten new music and floor pillows and was actually pretty excited to settle in. This time has had a similar feel so far. And lest you think that has anything to do with actual peace and quiet, please don't because the days are still crazy and busy in most ways! They fly by—I truly don't know where the time is going.

I'm feeling very fortunate and have been doing what I can to help others, however hard that may be because of the social distancing. Things we can do and have done:

bringing treats to neighbors and friends and leaving them on their porches

writing letters to grandparents and great-grandparents

video chatting with friends and family

sending thank you letters to doctors we know

donating to the food pantry

We're keeping daily routines simple and have all but completely ceased the homeschooling, which was just one too many things on my plate and in the grand scheme of things I think my girls will be fine without three months of preschool/kindergarten. We are just playing. Our loose daily structure looks something like: wakeup/breakfast, free play, outside play, lunch, nap/quiet time, outside play, dinner, bed.

The internet is crawling with learning resources, fitness resources, recipe resources, new-hobby resources, and of course virus-related news. I reached a breaking point of information overload last weekend when in my nightly Covid internet crawl I learned of a toddler's death from the virus. I realized I needed a break from the constant media bombardment for my mental health. I think mental health is paramount in these times, and if I as the mother go down, the whole ship will sink. I've scaled back on the social media and news and I'm happier, calmer, and clearer, and I'm looking up and out and around more, rather than down at my phone.

Darkness, fear, and bad news is the norm, and I've been feeling the urge to fight back against it. It would be so easy to give into it, give into hopelessness and dejection. We can't let darkness win! I've been finding that by turning my gaze slightly inward and blocking out the media, I have more reserves to think about and care for those in my family and community where I can make a difference.

It's been interesting to speculate on how life will be forever changed after this time. There is so much goodness that's sprouted up as a result of the social distancing, and I hope some of it remains after this period is over.

We've always had a social neighborhood, but we're checking in with neighbors even more during this time: Do you need anything at the store? How are you holding up? Can I do anything for you? Many days I now know what my neighbors are having for dinner, or where they've been or what they've done that day. Ironically I think we're connecting more and better in many ways now that the option of connecting in most other ways has been removed.

We're valuing books more! And I'm reading books that challenge me a bit since our library is no longer open and I'm stuck with the few books I had checked out before they closed. I'd usually say life is too short to read books I don't like, but without the option of new books I'm pushing through. (Currently reading Circe, which my sister loved and which is challenging me! Next up is The Starless Sea, and I'm also reading How to Do Nothing which is so fascinating.)

I know this time is so hard and unprecedented. But we can do hard things! So let’s do the hard thing. Let's think of others instead of ourselves (which has health benefits too!). Let's connect when and where we safely can. And let's make a vow to hold on to hope.